I Kant Do It

The “ends” don’t justify the “means.”  You lose your soul in the “mean” -time

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Melting

Has anyone else noticed the sound of ice melting? Does anyone else thing that that's weird? Or is it more weird that I noticed and recorded it...?

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What You Don't Understand, You Make Mean Anything

 

About 18 months ago, I bought a Canon Rebel XSi digital SLR camera. 

I love it. 

I love that I can change the lens out to suit a particular situation.  I love that I can use an external flash to bounce artificial light.  I love that the camera fires as soon as I depress the button.

I was just messing around with auto exposure bracketing, and seeing how fast I could take 3 continuous shots (for use with HDR imaging).  Although the camera is rated at 3.5 exposures per second, I was noticing that I was only getting 2, and only for the first second.  Subsequent exposures came at a rate of only 1 per second.  What the heck!?

I shoot in RAW mode, which generates very large files – somewhere on the order of 13-15 MB each.  Maybe the bottleneck was caused by the write-speed from my camera to memory card.  So I tried switching back to JPEGs.  Same problem.  “Hmmm… maybe they’re still too big…”  So I switched to the smallest setting.  Same problem.  Uh oh… prepare for camera repair…

Then I remembered.

When I first got the camera, one of the touted features was on-camera “High ISO Noise Reduction.”  Noise is the digital equivalent to grain.  As you use a higher ISO setting, you can get better exposures with less light – the trade-off is more noise.  This feature helps reduce the noise (read more here).

Noise reduction off	Noise reduction on

Excited by the prospect of reduced noise, I turned the feature on.  What I didn’t notice is that it drops the cameras burst rate down to 2.  Well… that explains it.  I turned the feature off and, voila, I can now capture 7 consecutive exposures in 2 seconds.

The worst/best part is: I shoot RAW (and process with Adobe Camera Raw), so the on-camera processing is ignored anyway.

The lesson for me is to not get feature happy.  If you don’t understand how it works, don’t enable it.

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Gin Me Hendricks

God save me for that pun… the worst puns are the ones that aren’t funny.

While this review was fun to do, the purpose was really more about editing video than getting drunk.  A few years ago, I bought a Canon HV20 High Def Camcorder.  One of the highlight features was that it could shoot “24p,” that is “24 progressive frames per second.” 

There are a couple of reasons why someone might want this, but suffice it to say, 24p footage has a different characteristic to it.  It’s less “fluid,” but some say it gives your end result a more “cinema-like” result.  I’m not kidding myself, nothing I’m shooting is going to garner an Academy Award – if anything, my stuff looks along the lines of The Office.  To me, non-24p high def stuff looks “hyper-real” and almost “too smooth.”

So why am I still talking about this?  Well, it turns out the “highlight feature” was a bit misleading.  You don’t really care, but the 24p footage is actually wrapped in a 60i (60 interlaced frames per second) “wrapper” in order to make it more compliant with the HDV standard (I guess…).  This is don’t through a process called “telecine” or sometimes “pulldown.”  You’ve lost interest at this point, but the bottom line is that I finally figured out the Gordian Knot of 24p footage from the HV20.  So this was my first full test.

For reference, here’s some non-24p stuff (though, I think these aren’t the best examples):

P.S. Melanie is JOKING! It’s her imaginary, horrible alter ego.

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C-I-N-D-Y

Many people are surprised to learn that I was the male lead in a musical at the local all-girls' school eight years ago. I'm not sure which element of that last sentence surprises them the most, but suffice it to say that most are surprised.

The musical was "Cindy," a very loosely interpreted "Cinderella story." The setting was a 1920s Jewish deli in New York... or at least, that was the original setting. Given that the reproduction was being performed by a Catholic school in California, the setting was changed to a '90s Italian pizzeria in Los Angeles. The transition was not entirely seemless, despite the best efforts of the play's producers to amend the song lyrics.

I had a lot of fun being involved in the production. I was one of two guys present daily at a Catholic all-girls' school three days a week for as many months. It was actually far more innocent than stereotypes allow. I'd say the same in regards to the other male present, my 22-year old counterpart, but he did end up dating the female lead after production had ended -- that was the rumor I'd heard anyway.

I'd happened upon the gig after being invited by a freshman (or rather "freshgirl," but that just sounds wrong) to their Winter ball. I was a lousy dance date. I was obstinately critical of what we called dancing, so if I was your escort for the night, you likely sat around and watched everyone else have fun. In my defense, I did warn my host to this end.

I'd attended another variety show on the campus a few weeks prior and mentioned to one nominated princess that if she was elected "queen," I would sing to her at the dance. I really couldn't say how this all came about, but sure enough, she was the queen, and before the night was through, I was on stage in front of a couple hundred singing "To Make You Feel My Love," a capella. This resulted in:

1. My host becoming incredibly pissed with me. I wouldn't dance for the life of me, but I'd sing a capella to some other girl?!
2. An innocent young girl perceiving that I'd just expressed my undying love for her.
3. An audition in the La Reina High School Players' production of their Spring musical "Cindy."

I auditioned with Billy Joel's "For The Longest Time," and was type-cast in the role of "Lucky," a hopeless romantic constantly wooing Cindy Bella with little success. The result of this affair is embedded below.

I learned quite a few things during those few weeks, not the least of which were:

• James Taylor's "Greatest Hits" album just scratches the surface, and
• You can't chase one sister if you've already expressed your undying love -- on-stage, in song, and in front of everyone -- to the other sister.

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The Gift-Horse

This is very hard to say without sounding like a jerk.  “If as you read this, you start to take offense, please keep in mind that I’m doing this for your own good” he says, sounding jerkier with each syllable.

Don’t buy me gift cards.  In fact, don’t buy anybody gift cards.  Boycott. 

Hey, I’ve been there.  It’s the last minute (or even a month ahead of time) and you have no idea what to get somebody for whatever occasion it happens to be.  You feel awkward shoving green bills into an envelope and calling it a day.  So you buy a gift card.  It’s likely for a specific store.  Maybe it’s to Best Buy, because you *know* the person LOVES electronics, so obviously, there must be something they want to buy at Best Buy.  It feels more personal – like you did your duty as a caring person in the recipient’s life.

Recent analysis shows that Americans spend about $65 billion of gift cards, annually.  Of that, over 10% never gets spent.  That’s almost $7 billion thrown away.  You’ve experienced this first hand, haven’t you?  I have $3.83 remaining on a $25 Amex gift card sitting on my dresser right now.  That’s 15% of the card’s face value going to waste.  If you factor in the $4.95 set up charge tacked on by Amex at the time of purchase, the total waste exceeds 35%!

The girl working the counter at Tony’s says she’s got at least 3 of similar remaining value laying around her house.  I’m sure that most of you have at least one (please answer the poll).  You’re not getting full value for your money, whether you’re the giver or receiver.

But all of that’s kind of beside the point.  It’s more about freedom.  Now, I’m not suggesting that gift card-ing is un-American, but there’s something I don’t like about being forced to spend at a store that I didn’t choose. Maybe I’m saying up for something big.  I like to shop around.  I like to find the best price. The aforementioned set up fee on American Express gift cards outweighs any freedom they bring to the table, and if I’m locked into a given store, I —once  again— can’t get full value for my money. 

“But, it’s not ‘your’ money, you ungrateful jerkface,” you say.  And you’re right.  It’s not my money, and I’m an ungrateful jerkface.  But still, can we get over the unfair stigma placed on giving cash?  There’s not logic to it.  It’s not like giving a gift card is ANY more thoughtful.  To me, it’s less – because it’s the self-serving illusion of thoughtfulness.

Some suggest that by giving a gift card rather than cash, the likelihood that you’ll actually “treat yourself to something” is higher.  Maybe – and it’s a noble cause that I can get behind –  but that falls apart when the cards are for stores like Target or Costco.  I guarantee you that money is going to toilet paper and gasoline.  Either way, it all balances out.  If you can satisfy your needs with your gift cards, you free up cash for your wants out of your normal budget.  But why not just give cash in the first place and save the recipient the shell game.

It’s not more thoughtful.  You’re not saving face.  You didn’t know what to get me.  That’s OK.  Cash is fine.  Hell, nothing is fine.  But for the love of God, don’t buy me a gift card.

Addendum: Gift certificates don’t carry the same negative feelings for me.  That is, so long as they’re gifts for a specific service or good – like a 1 hour massage or a movie ticket.  In that case, you chose to give someone a specific gift, you simply allowed them to redeem it at their leisure.  But certificates carry their own risks, like of expiration.  In CA at least, gift cards are not allowed to expire.  Though, strange things are afoot…

Also, gift cards are a good idea for distribution stimulus money if you’re the federal government and you want to force people to spend rather than pay down debt.

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No Contest

 

Meg had a bad March...  A lot was going wrong for her.  Nothing too serious, but still altogether frustrating.  Toward the end of March, she got a ticket while driving Joe to baseball practice.

My first instinct was to fight it, so I asked her, “well, did you do what they said you did?”  Meg hesitated and I sighed.

She approached her left hand turn.  Because of congestion, she decided to enter her turn early, using the left-turn assist lane (the solid-and-hashed yellow lines that divide many highways and roads.)  She completed her turn, and was subsequently pulled over.  The officer accused her of “cutting in line.”

The actual ticket was for violation of CA Vehicle Code 21460(a) or “crossing a double-yellow line.  Click the picture below to see a gallery of images that describe the situation.  You can click on the right side of the image to go to the next; left, previous.

So did she cross a double-yellow line?  Yes.  But was it reasonable to expect that she’s know that her maneuver was illegal given the road markings? No.

I insisted that we fight the ticket.  I found online that you can fight any traffic violation with a trial by written declaration.  This allows you to plead and present your case without having to appear in court, and it’s available to everyone.  I submitted the aforementioned images and stated our case.

The officer is giving 30 days to respond to the case we present, and then a judge is supposed to make a decision as to the outcome of the case.  On May 30, the officer’s 30 days was up, and we still hadn’t heard anything.  We crossed our fingers.

Yesterday, we received a plain form letter from the Superior Court of Ventura County.  The boxes for “Guilty” and “Pay fine” were checked.  And that was it.  No explanation of the evidence presented against us.  No response to the evidence we provided to the court. 

Nothing.

It’s not that I’m unhappy that we have to pay $260, plus traffic school.  I’m unhappy that we weren’t treated with more respect.  Explain to me why you felt our case had no merit.

Maybe we should have plead “no contest.”  Because with the both state and the county facing budget crises, that’s what it was.

No contest…

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Writer’s Blog

I can’t think of anything to blog about lately…

Anybody have any suggestions or prompts?

Along those lines, I’ve been trying to keep this blog non-political/non-philosophical…  is that a good or bad move?

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Sitting in Silence

[This is a re-post from a blog entry I wrote when I still logged into MySpace.  Original date: March 7, 2007.]

Today, at 12:54PM, I went to lunch -- Tony's Pizza.  It's become my ritual.  Everyday.  Ever--single--day.  I'm not complaining; it's good food at a good price, although, I'm not too sure it's good on my health.  With that in mind, I decided to order only one slice rather than the usual two.  As I walked to the counter, an acquaintance passed me by on his way outside to sit and wait for his food.

Awkward glance.  Raised eyebrows, if to say "hey".  I think it was Gina Fiore's boyfriend... I think his name was Cam.  I can't be certain.  He sat outside, I sat in-- in uncomfortable silence.  His order came up first -- he grabbed his pizza; I averted my eyes, pretending to be interested in the texture on the napkin that lay in front of me on the table.  Nothing said. 

Regret…

Last week ago, I encountered a similar situation.  Another acquaintance.  The same restaurant.  She didn't see me, but I saw her; she was coming from the Sesame Inn.  In the interest of avoiding the awkward moment, I sat in silence. 

Regret…

I finished my slice, and checked the clock -- 1:26PM.  "Hmm... 30 minutes more."  I went back to work early.  At Borchard and the 101, I rolled up on a shot at redemption.  A red light.  A black jeep.  Exposed sides-- rag top.  White curly hair everywhere.
I glanced over.  Then ahead.  I sat until I boiled.  Silence no more.  I rolled down my window...

"MR. C!"

He looked over as I shouted over the engine of the loud semi-trunk that turned left in front of us.

"I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT YOU'RE THE BEST TEACHER THAT I'VE EVER HAD!  THANK YOU!"

Without missing a beat, he reached into his pocket and acknowledged me with his simple gesture coupled with a smile.

"click-click"

Atypically, the light turned green just at that moment, sparing us of the usual minute of uncomfortable silence after saying hi to someone at a stop light.  Ever more peculiar, the moment didn't confront us at the two subsequent red lights (He had pulled behind me).  I turned left into the parking lot as he zoomed passed me.

I really miss that guy.

I’m not too embarrassed to admit that I regret a lot of things that I did or didn’t do in high school.  Luckily, taking a course with Paul Coffman is not one of those things.

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the nice

You should really read my sister’s blog.  It’s much better than mine.

melbellomo.blogspot.com

allthenice.com

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Read More

It’s come to my attention that the formatting scheme I put into place (described in this post) has only led to confusion and disappointment. 

I’ve removed it.

If you feel you’ve fallen victim to these short posts, and missed the “Read more…” link, I’d encourage you to go back and experience the full majesty of my blogging.

I’m talking to you, Colorado!

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Chicken Piccata

Here’s my favorite preparation of chicken piccata.

2		chicken breasts (boneless, skinless)
1/3	cup	flour
3	Tbsp	Parmesan or Romano cheese (grated)
4	Tbsp	olive oil
6	Tbsp	butter
1/3	cup	lemon juice
1/2	cup	dry white wine (we often use Chardonnay)
1/4	cup	brined capers (drained)

Get things started by uncorking your wine and pouring yourself a glass.  Everyone always says that you shouldn’t cook with wine that you wouldn’t drink.  Given that I’ll drink anything short of “corked” wine, this is a very low hurdle for the wine to surpass.  Still, this dish takes a bit of patience, so get that wine flowing!

This is probably the hardest part of the entire recipe, and it’s also one of the most important.  The thinness and tenderness of the chicken is what gives it the melt-in-your-mouth quality. 

If you’ve never butterflied a chicken breast before, it can be a bit daunting.  Please take care to not slice your hand off.  I like to put the “rough side” down on the cutting board and make a slow horizontal incision.  Once you make it a few inches in, peel up the top layer and put a little tension on the “V” between the two forming cutlets.  Make long, easy strokes against that point – you shouldn’t need much force on the knife at this point, the breast should kind of “peel apart.”

If you’ve got behemoth breasts, like the ones they sell at Costco, (and you’re feeling like a challenge) you want to shoot for a “tri-fold” cut (as I call it).  Do the same as above, but only with the top third of the breast, then reverse the knife and go back the other way in the same manner.  If you have a better technique for getting thin cutlets, please let me know.

If you don’t feel like your cutlets are thin enough, you can also pound them out.  I recommend doing this as it helps to tenderize the chicken as well.  I encase the cutlets in cling wrap and pound away, striking down with an outward motion (does that make sense).  Make sure the cling wrap isn’t too tight, or it’ll bust out of the side and make a mess.  Set the breasts aside on a dish.

Look – if you’re worrying about making the cutlets look nice and even, don’t.  While visual appeal is great, it’s the flavor that makes the dish.  If you’ve got irregularly sized pieces, don’t worry about it.

Grate a few tablespoons of cheese into a flour-filled dish.  This is your dredging dish, used to coat your chicken, so make sure it’s large enough.  The tall lip helps keep flour from flying our when coating your breasts.

I used a microplane with Pecorino Romano – I like the more pronounced flavor of romano, but the shreds that the microplane creates tend to clump together when mixing in with the flour.  Just keep in mind that after tossing around a bit, it’ll loosen up.

This next set of pictures should be clear enough without my ranting.

All right – the breast are coated and ready.  Let’s proceed.

Get your pan going on medium-high heat.

Section your 6 tablespoons of butter into 2 tablespoon increments.

Melt 2 tablespoons of butter into 2 tablespoons of olive oil.  Precise measurement on the oil isn’t essential – eyeball it.  You’re basically just getting enough fat in there to fry (not deep-fry) your chicken.

Lower one breast into the pan – take care not to plop it in or you’ll send hot fat flying everywhere!.

Flip after about 2 minutes, and cook an additional 2 minutes.  You’re looking for golden brown on both sides.  Remove the chicken to a plate and cover with aluminum foil.

You’re going to repeat this procedure with the second breast: add 2 more tablespoons each of butter and oil, and lower the breast in – 2 minutes each side.

While the breasts are cooking, juice your lemons and prepare your deglazing liquids – lemon juice, white wine, and capers.  It all goes in at the same time, so feel free to mix it ahead of time

When the breasts are done, set them aside – perhaps in a warm oven (or perhaps not.)  The pan will have brown bits of goodness stuck to the bottom.  This is the “fond” and will help to flavor our sauce.  Pour the juice/wine/capers into the hot pan, scraping the bits off the bottom as the pan sizzles.

Stirring occasionally to keep it from burning, reduce this liquid by half.  One trick for measuring that is flipping the wooden spoon around and dipping the cylinder into the sauce when you start, then repeating after some time to measure the difference in liquid height. 

I don’t do this.

Instead, I just wait for the liquid to thicken.  It’ll begin to “slosh” less and will look slightly syrupy.  It’s very important that you get to this point before proceeding.  The next step is to add the last 2 tablespoons of butter an whisk to incorporate; this finishes the sauce.  If you add the butter, then reduce more, you run the risk that the sauce will break, leaving you with an oil slick.

When the butter is incorporated, move your chicken back into the pan and let it soak in the flavor (on low heat) for a 3 minutes – or don’t.

Move the chicken to the serving dish and cover with the remaining sauce.

Optionally, you can sprinkle with some roughly chopped Italian parsley.  It gives the dish a nice refreshing note. 

Meg can’t tell cilantro from parsley at times, so we had to forgo this night.  ;-)

Remember one, very important thing: the recipe just doesn’t matter that much.  I encourage you to modify the recipe, adding more/less of what you like/dislike.  I often heap extra capers into the sauce. 

BUT please, don’t add the butter to the sauce too soon!

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Lemonhead Martini

We’re heading into Summertime, so I thought I’d publish the recipe for Meg’s favorite refreshing martini.  I cobbled this together for her one day when she said she wanted a “lemondrop.”  She was pleasantly surprised with the outcome, and we began “beta-testing” it on our friends.  The results were universally positive, and typically the tasting ended with requests for the recipe.

We’ve been struggling for a name for it.  The recipe differs enough from a lemondrop that I think it needs its own name.  The x-factor is the limoncello, so I was thinking “cellodrop” for a while…  Though, the flavor mostly reminds me of a Lemonhead, so I’ve settled on that for now.

Without further ado, I give you the recipe.  I should warn you though – Meg is often disappointed now with restaurant lemondrop martinis.

2 parts FRESH lemon juice

~1 Tbsp sugar

1 part orange liquor – there isn’t really any discernable difference here; Cointreau, Grand Marnier, triple sec, blue Curacao (Meg prefers the blue-green result from using the latter).

1 part limoncello – We’ve tried Caravella and Pallini.  Meg prefers the Caravella due to the higher alcohol content.  It’s a little more alcohol-y, but Meg says when she’s drinking, she wants to know… I prefer Pallini – it creates such a smooth drink, you could almost mistake it for straight lemonade.

1 part vodka

 

“ReaLemon” is not an adequate substitute!  If you don’t have fresh lemon juice, don’t bother.  I’m not saying that to be snobby, I just don’t want you to waste your alcohol…

Rolling your lemons before slicing will loosen up the juices (I guess…)

 

 

 

 

 

 

Cut along the equator for best results.

 

 

 

 

 

First things first – rim the martini glass with the cut side of the lemon.  The lemon juice will cause the sugar to stick better than simply using water.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Invert the glass and dip into sugar; amount of coverage is up to your preference.  It’s important to do this up front so we can get the martini glass chilling in the freezer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Proceed to juice your lemons.  We prefer this style of juicer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Pour the lemon juice into the shaker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Follow that with the sugar.  Superfine will make things easier; simple syrup better still.  But plain old granules will suffice and it commonly what we use.

 

 

 

 

Give that a good shake to dissolve the sugar into the lemon juice.  Next, add your ice – about 3/4 full on your shaker.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Next, add your liquors and spirits.  I typically go from more viscous to less, i.e. orange-to-limoncello-to-vodka.  I feel like this leaves less remaining in the measurer.

 

Give it about 40 good shakes.  More or less could be fine… I’m not sure.  Someone once told me 40 was a good general purpose number, and I’ve followed that blindly.  Pour into your frosty glass.

 

 

Garnish with a lemon twist if you’re feelin’ fancy.

 

 

 

 

Well, I hope that wasn’t too complicated – Enjoy!

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